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Bella’s Surprise
Those out there with kids will be nodding their heads sagely, but a general truth of parenting I’ve discovered is that it’s almost never a good sign when your kids are being too quiet. Generally speaking, it means they’re eating play-dough, pouring entire bottles of dish detergent down the sink, cutting their own hair . . . the list is long in my household alone.
Which means that I really should have known better yesterday when I didn’t hear from Bella the ENTIRE time I was making lunch and feeding Vivi. But we’d had a busy morning going to a storytelling class for her, she’d been running around lots and said she was going to rest on Vivi’s bed. What could go wrong, right?
So, after the (ominous, I now realize) 20 minutes of silence, Bella came RACING down the stairs.
Bella: “Mommy! Mommy! I have a surprise for you in your room!”
Me: “Great! Um, what is it?”
Bella: “I’ll give you a clue! It starts with an H. Come up with me. And close your eyes! Don’t look until I tell you!”
I closed my eyes and let her lead me upstairs. And when I opened them, this is what I saw on my bedroom floor:
Actually, this image doesn’t even convey the full multi-layered reality of Bella’s pile. Basically she had dumped a hamper of dirty clothes, the plastic bag recycling, half my bookshelf, a package of Vivi’s diapers, the entire contents of our medicine cabinet . . . it was, without a doubt, the biggest mess I have ever seen. And–those with kids will be nodding again–for any mother of a 4 year old and a 1 year old, that is saying something.
And she was SO delighted with her creation. “Look,” she told me proudly. “It’s a HOUSE. Get it? House starts with H! I’ve made a house for us, and I’ve thought of everything we might need! Do you want to live in it with me?”
What to say . . . what to say . . . I took a deep breath. “You bet, sweetie,” I said. “It’s a fantastic house.” Mama-of-the-year? Or epic parenting fail? I’m still not entirely sure. I just couldn’t bring myself to scold her when she was so incredibly excited and had clearly worked so diligently.
And then it occurred to me while we were ‘living’ in the house–having a great time, actually–that this is one of the reasons that having kids is actually GREAT for a writing career. It’s all about surrender of control. Yes, as an author I’m in charge of my story–but I have to let myself surrender to it, too, if I’m going to faithfully capture what it needs to be. Sometimes that leads to a gigantic mess. But that’s how you uncover hidden truths about your characters and plot. Like the missing bottle of baby tylenol that rolled out of Bella’s pile. Sometimes you just have to give in and let your characters wreak havoc with what you thought was going to be your plot, sink into the current of your story and let it carry you wherever it will.
I’m going to keep reminding myself of that. Right after I mobilize my entire family to clean up my bedroom floor.
This entry was posted Monday, March 7th, 2011 at 4:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
2 Responses to “Bella’s Surprise”
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March 28th, 2011 at 1:55 am
Your post reminded me so much of when my children were younger-lol. They are grown now. My characters seem to do exactly what you described and I’ve been trying to train myself out of it. Maybe doing that is taking the joy out of writing and lets face it…it’s work. Especially the re-writes. The solitude (when it’s savored) and then the isolation when it is not. I have to love my characters to spend so much time with them and I think you covered that well in your post! Thanks Gwen
March 28th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Hi Gwen! It’s definitely a delicate balance between staying (mostly) in control of your story and giving your characters free reign. I always know I’m on the right track when my characters really start talking to me and I know they’ve uncovered what the story really HAD to be rather than what I thought it was. Thanks for commenting! Nice to know I’m not alone in this!