Comments on: Sad News

By: anna

anna — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 18:21:44 +0000

Michael, those are beautiful words (from one of my favorite writers, too!) and thank you so much for sharing them. I’ve had other struggles and hardships in life (as has everyone, of course) but losing our baby has been by far the most painful. And yet, it’s been beautiful in a way, too– but for the loss, I would never have received such an outpouring of love and heartening, lovely messages from so many that I’ve never even met in person, and yet have come into my life just when I needed them most. Thank you for reaching out today, and please let your wife know that women like her who have lost and grieved so many times and yet found the courage to keep going are such an inspiration to me.

By: Michael Gettel-Gilmartin

Michael Gettel-Gilmartin — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:46:11 +0000

Dear Anna (and your husband),

I have come here today after reading your post on Writer Unboxed about the publication of Kitty Bennett’s diary. I am a huge Austen fan (as is my wife–it is one of the subjects that bonded us when we first met.)

I started reading your blog and various other items on your website, and came across this news of your miscarriage. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Between our first son (now 16) and our second (10), my wife experienced four miscarriages. I have never experienced such sadness as this cumulative loss, and seeing the pain my wife went through both physically and emotionally. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve.

I recently shared the following with a dear friend who has gone through more tragedy than I can imagine, including the loss of her 4-year-old son. It speaks to my feelings about grief, and the way it has its own timetable. It’s also by one of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott: (On her dad’s 90th birthday–he’s been gone 31 years.) “Don’t let anyone tell you ever that you are supposed to stop mourning and missing people you’ve lost. What a crock. Our beloved people are forever.”

You may not have met your beloved baby, but you knew him or her growing inside you, and your baby is forever.

By: Amy P

Amy P — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 19:53:08 +0000

I am so very sorry. I just re-read Georgiana Darcy’s Diary and From Pemberley to Waterloo this past weekend, and while I am eagerly awaiting the release of Kitty Bennet’s Diary I do, unfortunately, understand the difficulty you are having. You will be in my prayers.

By: Caroline Starr Rose

Caroline Starr Rose — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 16:16:05 +0000

My miscarriage happened ten years ago — a boy right between the two fellow I have now. I was asked a few months later by a hospital to serve on a panel of women who’d lost children before birth, as still birth, and shortly after birth. The idea was to teach doctors and nurses more compassion for women in this position. It was one of the most painful, important, and beautiful things I’ve ever been a part of.

As you said at Writer Unboxed, this isn’t a sisterhood of your choosing, but these bonds are a gift. I am grateful for this piece of your life you shared.