Anna's Blog

Stay Tuned . . .

September 2nd, 2010

Thanks so much to everyone who has downloaded and read The Witch Queen’s Secret! I hope you’re enjoying it! I had such a wonderful time writing it and am so excited to get to share it with the world.

My husband designed the cover art. Did I mention that? And I didn’t even have to coat his fingers with jelly to get him to do it. He is just so great. Do I deserve him? Wait, don’t answer that.

And now he’s created another gorgeous cover, which is coming VERY soon! Here it is if you’ve missed seeing it on the site elsewhere:

The title is Dawn of Avalon, and it’s a prequel featuring Morgan and Merlin. Now, my husband, though clearly the best husband ever, is not really much of a fiction reader. If he weren’t married to me, would he ever voluntarily pick up a fiction book? Kinda doubtful.

We’ve been married long enough to communicate solely through raised eyebrows and twitches if need be and I can spill my heart and soul to him, but I don’t usually talk to him too much about the details of whatever I’m in the process of writing–any more than he talks to me in detail about the computer program he’s working on. (He works on computational models of hypersonic fluid dynamics. I’m pretty sure. And you now know almost as much as I do about it). So anyway, he is always–and I find this hugely funny–always kind of surprised when he reads one of my books in its final form. A typical conversation:

Nathan, having just read something I’ve written: Wow, that is just really, really well phrased. Did you come up with that yourself?
Me: Um, honey? Remind me what it is I do for a living again?

However, in addition to making the cover, my man has now READ Dawn of Avalon. And he says he thinks it’s ’some of my best writing’. And Nathan, the scientist/physicist/mathematician who would never voluntarily pick up a fiction book, pronounces the language ‘really pretty.’ That may be my favorite compliment EVER!

So anyway, please stay tuned for Dawn of Avalon, I really am so, so excited to share this story!

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I’d Know You Anywhere

August 30th, 2010

I usually dream in novel plots. Is this a writer thing? I just assumed everyone dreamed this way, but then I asked my husband and he looked at me like I had two heads. So, writer thing? Just me? I’m not sure, but I would say that in probably 90% of my dreams I’m not actually ‘me’. Instead I’m a character in whatever novel plot my sleeping brain has come up with.

Last night my brain fiddled around with the usual few short flashes of dreams that the kids are crying or whatever, then settled on High School Romance for the night’s story. I was . . . hmmm, now that I’m actually writing it down, it’s a bit hard to explain the dream logic. I was more ‘me’ than I sometimes am in dreams. But I was in high school again, and it wasn’t the real high school I actually went to but some fictional school. So this dream-me, Anna-ish sort of person had a best friend, who was a dream-my husband, Nathan-ish sort of person. (My brain was conveniently overlooking the fact that we didn’t actually know each other in high school). Anyway, he was my husband but not, if that makes sense. To the dream Anna, he wasn’t even a love interest, he was a best friend who happened to be in a mental institution with some sort of severe condition that made him lucid only part of the time. (There was a whole sub plot with an evil nurse who was over-medicating him, too–very exciting, but I’ll spare you the crazy dream details). So me, the dream me, that is, arrived at the mental institution to visit, and the dream Nathan, my husband but not, was drugged almost unconscious. But he woke up a little when I came in and said, “I got you some roses” and sure enough there were red roses all over his antiseptic white walled hospital room. He’d had some sort of violent episode the previous time I’d come to visit, and he’d been afraid I wouldn’t come back.

Like I said, to the dream me, he wasn’t a love interest, just a best friend, but he was getting agitated, so with perfect dream logic I climbed up on the bed and rested my head on his chest. And then . . . it was the strangest feeling. I could feel my–my consciousness, soul, whatever you want to call it–I could feel my spirit sinking down, down, through and past the layers of whatever mental condition he had, through the layers of his physical body, even, until our souls, spirits, whatever you want to call them, actually touched.

And that’s when I recognized him.

In my dream, the Anna-ish high school me thought, Crap, this is going to be really tough, because I’m going to marry him, and it’s going to be hard to convince my parents that I should marry a mental patient while still in high school. But that’s it–I can’t marry anyone else.

And then I woke up. It was pre-dawn, which meant I had just a couple of precious hours before the girls woke up. But strangely I lay there, in no hurry to even try to fall back to sleep. I mean, it was a relief to realize that it was just a dream and my husband is not, in fact, a high school student in a mental institution. (Honey, I’m here and now sparing you the trouble of adding the obvious joke in comments that you may become a grad student in a mental institution if getting your PhD drags on much longer. You know you totally were going to).

But anyway, I lay there, staring at the ceiling, because I wanted to hold onto that strange spirit-to-spirit, I’d know you anywhere feeling as long as I could. Which is why, too, I’m writing this down. Because just like the vividness of a dream fades so quickly it’s often gone almost before you can remember it at all, it’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day busy-ness of work, kids, life, chores, no matter how much you love your husband. But . . . I really do love the guy, you know? I really would know him anywhere.

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Eat Pray Love

August 27th, 2010

Have you read The Witch Queen’s Secret yet? Oh, please, please go read The Witch Queen’s Secret! It’s free! And I love Dera SO much, I just want everyone else to read about her and love her, too.

But that actually wasn’t why I was blogging today. I was blogging because this week I finally read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. And I know Elizabeth Gilbert is (probably) not staying awake nights waiting to hear what I thought of her multi-million copy selling book. But it seems like everyone is talking about it just now with the movie coming out and everything. And since I only just picked up a copy for the first time this week, I thought I’d add my two cents:

I really, really loved it. (Yes, yes, I know, Elizabeth Gilbert is even now breathing a huge sigh of relief.) But I really did. And not just because it is funny and smart and touching and well written. Though it certainly is.

Apart from the fact that we are both writers from Connecticut (and as I’m sure you’ll agree would–clearly–both look really great with Julia Roberts playing us in movies), my life could pretty much not be more different from Elizabeth Gilbert’s during the year she wrote about. She had four months of focusing on the experience of pleasure in Rome. The other day, I asked my husband to watch the girls (ages 3 and 1) for five minutes so that I could run into the pharmacy and buy myself a new bottle of shampoo. And practically danced my way up and down the personal care products aisle singing ‘I’m on VACATION!’ She spent 4 months in a spiritual retreat in India praying and meditating for hours on end every day. I typically have 10 seconds to utter a prayer for patience so that my head doesn’t spin around like the girl in The Exorcist when my 3 year old drop kicks the training potty all over the carpet.

But here’s the thing: I still found it incredibly uplifting to read her book, and not just in a ‘I wish I could do something like that someday’ kind of way.

I was talking to my dad (who hadn’t read the book) about the whole idea, and he said, ‘So basically she just pays attention to herself for a year.’ And on the surface, I suppose that’s true in a way. But that’s really not the point. Yes, she spent a year focusing on herself and rebuilding her life after a painful divorce. But through that year, she got to a spiritual place that most of us only ever dream of–and then she turned around and gave that year BACK to everyone who reads her book. Gave it back 7 million times, or whatever the exact sales figures are. And it’s a really, really powerful gift, wherever you are in life, whether you’re recently divorced or happily married to your best friend.

I read the ‘Rome’ section, and I started to think, This all sounds amazing, all this focus on the experience of pure, unalloyed pleasure. But would I trade even one single day with my husband and my girls for a whole eternity of being on my own in Rome? Not even for one single second would I consider that trade. So, okay, given that I would chose my husband and girls in a heartbeat every time, how about I try to focus on experiencing that same pure, unalloyed pleasure in my life with them, every minute of every day. I mean, when the baby is enchanted by the delight of playing in running water from the sink faucet for the very first time, what if I just focused on sitting there, in that moment, purely loving her delight. Instead of half purely loving it, half purely thinking, Okay, after this I have to fold the laundry, then answer those three e-mails, and maybe if I hurry I can . . .

What would happen if I did that every day, just focused on how much I love being a wife and mama and writer?

I’m pretty sure I’d need that ‘please stop my head from spinning around like the girl in the Exorcist’ prayer a lot less often, for one thing.

And prayer? She has this wonderful section where she talks about the highest form of prayer being pure love. And there’s a line of writing in my own religious tradition that talks about ‘prayer that shall rise above words and letters and transcend the murmur of syllables and sounds.’ What if I tried that more often, even in those little snippits of time I have to think about spirituality and conversing with the Divine? Better yet, what if I tried to make my entire LIFE–mothering my girls, writing my books–into an act of pure love, one that transcends the murmur of syllables and sounds?

I only read this book last night, so the jury is still out, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it would be pretty freaking powerful.

So there you go. I loved the book. Elizabeth Gilbert can now sleep at night.

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Birthdays

August 24th, 2010

My baby girl turns ONE this week! Ahhhh, how did that happen? She is doing so many new things like speaking (favorite words include ‘mama’, ‘hi’, and ‘no’), waving, coloring with crayons, and she is THIS close to taking her first steps. But ONE. That is also THIS close to not being a baby anymore. And Bella? She will be FOUR this fall. Look, here were my girls a year ago:

And now look at them:

Dear Bella and Vivi,

All future birthdays are hereby canceled, as I am not allowing you to get any older. I am sure you will agree that this is a better arrangement all around. Also, you are not allowed to go away to college.

Love,

Mama

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A Giveaway!

August 23rd, 2010

Wow, I can’t believe the release of Dark Moon (Sept 14) is now just right around the corner! I’ll have loads of news and announcements about it coming soon. But for now, here’s an announcement for a drawing of a copy of Dark Moon or Twilight of Avalon, your choice. This is over on Libri Touches, which is run by the INCREDIBLY sweet Shanra who has donated an unbelievable amount of her time to do beta reading for me this year. Thanks, Shanra! And stop by to enter the giveaway!

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A Funeral of the ‘I can’ts’

August 20th, 2010

I’m over at Writer Unboxed today, holding a public funeral for some of my writerly ‘I can’ts’, including “I can’t be a pantser’, ‘I can’t write in first person’, and ‘I can’t write a sex scene.’ Stop by!

In other news, I got the kids lunch today, then while Bella was eating her peanut butter and jelly and Vivi crawled around on the floor, I started making soup for dinner. (This in itself is mildly blog-worthy, considering how, um, infrequently cooking has happened in our house these last few weeks). Bella asked what I was doing, and I said, ‘Making soup for you to eat.’ Except that I forgot to specify that this was for her to eat tonight, as opposed to right then. So she replied with, “That’s horrible! I’ve just had lunch! Do you want me to get a tummy ache?”

Ah, my girl. She cracks me up.

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Writing and Mothering: Updated

August 7th, 2010

I’ve been meaning to update my ‘writing and mothering’ section for the last . . . um, year, now? Ever since Vivi was born, really. That I’m only just now finding the time tells you that yes, indeed, 2 kids is a whole ‘nother world. I’ll add this as an actual page to my site, but I thought it was worth posting here, as well: Writing and Mothering: Version 2.0

When I wrote the ‘writing and mothering’ section of this site, Bella was under two and an only child. Now she’s three and a half, and a big sister to Vivienne, who will be one at the end of the summer. Time for an update!

In some ways, writing with 2 small children home with me full-time is not so different from writing with just one. Schedules are good. Strict daily word count goals are good. A willingness to live in a house that gets vacuumed . . . oh, you don’t even want to KNOW how not-often I vacuum. But a willingness to accept that I just can’t do it all is still very, very good. And yet, reading over what I wrote nearly 2 years ago, I’d kind of like to go back in time and pat myself on the head as say, Oh, honey, if you think you are busy now . . .

I still have the best husband ever. In fact, he may actually now be BETTER than the best husband ever. There’s absolutely no way I’d be able to write the books I do without him partnering me in the child-raising as much as he does. I do still get up early–ideally before both kids. Although that’s kind of hit or miss these days, because the baby has this sixth sense of when I’m up and if I get up an hour early, she pops up, too. I do make sure to give each of my girls special mommy and me time every day. And I’m very strict with myself about getting in 1000 words every day, if it is at all possible. But with the two kids and the tiny nursing baby I’ve had all this year, plus the ‘business’ side of the job like answering e-mails to my publicist, giving interviews, etc. . . I’ve had to accept that sometimes 1000 words is just flat out not going to be possible. And that’s okay, as long as I’ve given it my best shot, I save the file and tell myself tomorrow is another day.

I guess the bottom line is that writing and mothering is always going to be a juggling act, a tricky balance to pull off. Does that help? My webmaster husband tells me that a fair number of people find my site through a google search for ‘writing and mothering’ or something like that. And I wish I had some sort of miracle strategy to offer that would make it easier. But maybe that’s the best I can offer–permission to find it hard. If you are a fellow writing mama, here is a big high five/hug/groan of sympathy for you, because what you’re trying to do is HARD, no doubt about it.

I read an interview with another writer who said, “I’d rather fail as a writer than as a wife and mother.” And of COURSE, I feel that way, too, don’t even have to think about it for a nanosecond. But here’s the thing–if I’m not writing at least a little bit I feel like I WILL fail as a wife and mother. My sweet girls need a mother who is happy and relaxed and fulfilled. How can I not write, when writing helps me so much to be the mother they deserve?

And it’s not forever. Ages and stages. That’s something else I tell myself often. I will always be able to write more books, but I will not always have a baby and a toddler in my life. They’re going to be grown before I know it, and I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I missed it or didn’t enjoy it at all because I was always trying frantically to cram writing time in.

And at the end of the day, I’m still so, so incredibly lucky. I have my dream babies and my dream job and a husband who supports me 100%. Surely only a ridiculously demanding person could ask for time to go to the bathroom during the day on top of all that. (Just kidding. Sort of).

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a GIGANTIC contest!!

August 3rd, 2010

Therese Walsh, my blog sister over at Writer Unboxed, is holding the MOST amazing contest to celebrate the trade paperback release of her debut novel, The Last Will of Moira Leahy.

Fourty-nine authors–including me–are donating TWO copies of one of their books for a “My Sister and Me” contest on her facebook fan page. The idea being that if you’re one of the winners, you’ll have a copy of one of these books to keep and another copy to share–with a sister or a friend.

Isn’t that awesome? I’m offering 2 copies of Dark Moon of Avalon, so to enter for a chance to win them–and all the other amazing books being offered–stop by!

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Scenes from the Day

July 30th, 2010

We went to the zoo today. Vivi saw her first elephants and zebras and lions and orangutans moving right over our heads. She clapped her hands and laughed and shrieked with excitement.

We got home, and as I was getting the girls ready for bed, Bella got on her toy phone and started ‘a conversation with God.’ At one point I heard her say, “Fantastic, God, great idea!”

Then while I brushed Bella’s teeth, Vivi carefully crawled over and filled the (thankfully unused!) training potty full of her sister’s toys.

I hope I remember all these little details of life with these girls of mine years from now when they are grown. There’s just something so magical about spending each day with these precious little beings, watching them figure out the world.

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Life with this Guy

July 27th, 2010

So, I should have added a #11 to my 10-true-things about my husband post last month. But here we go, Number 11: he likes to ‘help’ me write my books.

The other day I was called away from the story I’m working on at the moment by one of the kids, so left my poor characters in mid scene. (My characters are EXTREMELY accustomed to this, so don’t feel too sorry for them or anything). An elderly, battle scarred warrior had just told my narrator, “We can’t go back.”

Now, obviously you’re missing just a bit here in terms of like the entire story, who these characters are, just what was going on in this scene, etc. But trust me, it is a MOMENT, right? A big, dramatic, slightly teary moment.

So, I was called away, and when I came back to my computer, the line read, “We can’t go back. But we could always send the penguins.”

Oh, he is so helpful, that husband of mine!

Though he did make me the utterly gorgeous cover for my coming-soon short story The Witch Queen’s Secret. Isn’t it amazing? I’ve got a description of the story up now, and will have the story itself there very very soon. I’m just waiting on word from my publishers about where exactly it’s going to live on Kindle and other e-reader sites. But it will DEFINITELY be available for free download here.

So yeah, guess I will keep my husband around. He makes really really cute babies, too.

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